Ammes-chan akira_chan wrote in customers_suck
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Tis the season for WTF....

As a reminder I work for ABank. Since it is near [insert holiday of your choice], people have been going to the bank in droves, as though we were giving away the money for free. Funny, we had free hot chocolate today with so few takers.

A little note of backround: Each teller is allowed to have X amount of dollars. The head teller can have X on hand and order Y from outside the bank. Part of this is robbery prevention, part of it is control. We have a limit at the counter for any client that comes in, of $3000. If you wish to get more, you can - we just need notice so we can make a special order for you. Simply because our head teller can't order in all the hundreds the Bank of Canada has.

A young man came into the bank this afternoon. He comes up to my wicket and hands me his card.
M: I need $6500.
Me: I'm sorry sir, the daily limit at the counter is $3000, per branch. If you want more then that, I can order it for you.
M: Well I need it right now. Can you give me a cheque?
Me: Yes, we can do a draft, no problem.
M: *paces back and forth* No no, it has to be cash. You have to give me cash.
Me: I'm sorry, I can't give you more then $3000.
M: *frowns* Well...what's 13% of $6700?
Me: *calculates and gives him the answer which escapes me at this moment, heh*
M: No no, that's not going to work. I need cash. He won't take the cheque. Give me the cash.
Me: I'm really sorry, but we don't have it on hand. *At this point, we had maybe $5000 between all the tellers in large bills - it has been a very busy day and it's almost over*

M: Well you need to make an exception for me. I have it in my account! It's in my account! I want it!
Me: I would get approval to make an exception for you except that we do not have the money on hand today. It's been a busy day unfortunately and we don't have any extra money today.
M: This is crap! It's in my account! I want it! *hits his hand on the counter* Hang on a minute! *stalks off*
Me: ....Uh...*I signal my boss so she can keep an eye out because this guy seems quite upset*
M: *comes back with two other people* Are you sure I can only have $3000?
Me: Yes, I'm really sorry about that.
M: FINE. So now that I'm cleaning you out, what are you going to do about the next person?
Me: Anyone is guaranteed to get the $3000 when they come in. *does the transaction for him*
M: *takes his money and his friends and leaves*

I liked his friends. They were calm, level headed, and managed to talk him down for me, which was a great help, really. Thank goodness for that.

I know you are thinking that last one didn't seem that out there. This, this was the true WTF.

Me: Hi there, welcome to ABank, how can I help you today?
Man: I normally go to the branch out in that city up north, but I needed to check on my account and I forgot my card.
Me: Okay, I can help you with that. Could I have your phone number so I can pull up your account?
Man: I don't have a phone. It got disconnected.
Me: I see, what about the number you had when you opened the account?
Man: It's a bank account, not a phone number.
Me: ...Alright, could I have your name?
Man: It's John Smith.
Me: Okay. *pulls up the list. There are at least 45 John Smiths.* Could I have your address so I can narrow it down a little?
Man: Well you have it under the wrong address. It's under 121 Fake Ave way out where I used to live, but I moved.
Me: *Can't find Fake Ave, not even close* They may have updated it the last time you were in? Where do you live now?
Me: *Scrambling through all three ways to find John Smith here!*
Man: Well, don't you have it? Did you find it?
Me: No, I'm sorry nothing is coming up.
Man: Well maybe you can help me anyway. I got this money order here sometime ago, like three weeks. And I think you charged me for it.
Me: Oh good, you have the information? Maybe I can find your account that way-
Man: I just want a receipt for this.
Me: Well if I can find the account that should be no problem *I type in the money order info to pull up the file*
Man: *interrupts* Give that BACK. I already PAID for it!
Me: *hands it over* I'm sorry, I was just trying to find your account.
Man: I paid for it with cash!
Me: I see. Well the receipt you get then is this-
Man: Hey! When you put John Smith in, does it show you Other Bank?
Me: *I am kinda floored by this question* Um...I don't understand what you mean *I just told him there is nothing on the system here*
Man: Is this NOT ABANK? You have access to ABank's systems don't you? You looked me up?
Me: Well I can't find you but-
Man: Okay listen. When you look up my name, John Smith, can you see Other Bank on there?
Me: No...
Man: Good. I told Other Bank to leave me alone. *turns around and walks away*
Me: .......

One client is upset we can't give him all of his money in cash form, and another leaves me at a loss for words. Tis the season for everyone to go to the bank!


2012-12-19 04:46 am (UTC) (Link)

I work at a bank too and people are just straight up a-holes.

We have the individual teller limits, but the head teller is allowed to override and do pretty much what she wants. And due to the high maintenance clientele we get, we get lots of large bills handy because people come in to withdraw over $5,000 like it's nothing. But in that rare instance that we do run out of something all hell breaks loose.

Customer: "What do you mean you're out of [insert bill type here]?! This is a bank!"

Me: "Sorry, sir, but the last time I looked in a thesaurus, being a bank was not synonymous with having infinite amounts of money. We don't print the bills in the back office you know!


2012-12-19 04:49 am (UTC) (Link)

Yes, as I've learned through training, there are limits, with limits and more limits. Most people don't want that much cash, and most people don't mind waiting 1-2 days for us to order larger amounts. But with the holiday season we are burning through all of our large bills like they're nothing.


2012-12-19 09:09 pm (UTC) (Link)

Oh god, are you me? My bank bought out a smaller one a few years ago, and with that buy came a lot of high-money clients who were, well, spoiled rotten. I get "What do you MEAN, you don't have $10,000 in large bills in your drawer, why do you have to get it from elsewhere? Isn't giving out money your job???" (no, my job is to keep within all these rules, one of which unfortunately prevents me from punching you, while trying to keep your ass happy) or "How DARE you take a minute to check information in the system to make certain my account is safe, DON'T YOU KNOW WHO I AM" far too often.


I think my favorite so far was the guy, who isn't even one of our customers, who came in wanting to cash a THIRTY-THREE THOUSAND DOLLAR CHECK. *boggles*


2012-12-20 12:09 am (UTC) (Link)

"How DARE you take a minute to check information in the system to make certain my account is safe, DON'T YOU KNOW WHO I AM"

"Well, sir, I know you're claiming to be John Smith, but since you don't seem to care much about his account security, I really can't be certain that that's truly who you are."


2012-12-20 01:06 am (UTC) (Link)

"Manager, could you please notify the authorities? There's a man here who doesn't seem to know who he is."

Yeah, I know. Perfect world.


2012-12-20 01:32 am (UTC) (Link)

Things that we dream of saying, or will say on our last days at said jobs. :P


2012-12-20 04:07 am (UTC) (Link)

I think my favorite so far was the guy, who isn't even one of our customers, who came in wanting to cash a THIRTY-THREE THOUSAND DOLLAR CHECK. *boggles*

Oh god, you too? And he was completely flabbergasted that, not only would we not do it for him (non-customer, non-resident traveling back overseas the next day), but that my manager actually said we COULDN'T do it for him for lack of cash. WTF people. I know we are a bank, but we aren't the fricking Mint, ffs.


I actually had someone do that to me on the phone once, and I knew who he was (from being a teller). I said I recognized his voice and name, and it so completely took the wind out of his sails. He was still kind of a jerk, but he wasn't as bad as before. It was kind of horribly hilarious.


2012-12-20 05:13 am (UTC) (Link)

I don't know what goes through these people's minds! Bank =/= mint, you guys.

Ugh, I hate the "DON'T YOU KNOW ME RAWR RAWR RAWR" bit so much. I just moved to a different state, new to this location, and a;ldskfjalkdjfasd UGH. NO I don't know you yet! I've been in town three months, give me a break!


2012-12-20 11:09 pm (UTC) (Link)

We have the same life!!

Today at work was nearly unbearable, and I nearly exploded on several people.

First guy, comes in to cash his wife's check. NO.

Another guy, comes in to withdraw $6,000.00 in cash:
Me: "We're very low on large, is it okay if I give you a mix?"
Him: "No, actually. We're traveling."
Me: ::steam comes out of ears:: "Sir, a lot of people are coming in to do large withdrawals and like I said, we're low on large. What we have has to last us the rest of the weekend."
Him: ::blank stare::
Me: ::counts out money, there's over $2,000.00 in 50s::
Him: "FIFTIES?!"
Me: "If fifties are a problem, I have copious amounts of twenties, tens, fives and ones :-D Next time, if you call us in advance, we can make sure to order extra money so we can have it on hand for you. Have a safe trip!"

And that was how my whole entire day was. I handed out over $30,000 in cash today.

I'm so tired of people thinking they are special when they come to the bank. It's the holidays, everyone is lazy and wants to give cash as a gift, it wasn't your original idea. Next year, buy a gift card, or get your Christmas money a month in advance, but don't give me a hard time when I tell you that we don't have any large because everyone and their mother (literally) are doing large withdrawals.


2012-12-21 01:39 am (UTC) (Link)

Oh, god. I hate it so much - and the "Oh, make them PRETTY bills, they're going in Christmas cards" always makes me angry. It's like, I don't give a flying crap if the money in the card is crispy and new or a little wrinkled - someone gave me money! Life is awesome!

Special hate to the lady who came through drive through cashing a $6,000 check. All large, of course. And she was FURIOUS because we took "so gawd-awful LONG about it! What's so complicated about cashing a check?!?" -.-


2012-12-21 03:02 am (UTC) (Link)

People that ask me for new money are more likely to get the nastiest bills I can find in my till. You came here for money, I'm giving you money. Beggars can't be choosers, ain't nobody got time for that.

We have to limit our customers at the drive through, if anyone wants any cash withdrawal or check cashed over $1000 they have to come inside the banking center. If we don't implement that our customer just get ridiculous.

I'd like to give an honorable mention to the guy that forgot he had an account with us so he came into the bank to deposit a check for a hundred THOUSAND dollars. The fuck?


2012-12-23 09:14 am (UTC) (Link)

I wish I had 100 grand to put in an account I forgot about. That would be so nice.... *iz daydreaming*

(Deleted comment)


2012-12-19 10:27 am (UTC) (Link)

This is what I was thinking too.


2012-12-19 11:00 am (UTC) (Link)

He was definitely acting very cagey. It was a little intimidating, which I think is probably what he was going for.


2012-12-19 11:48 am (UTC) (Link)

To be fair, I have also handled $6500 in cash...buying a rally car. Perfectly legit I swear.

(No I don't remember why the fuck we had that much cash and didn't just go for a cheque. For the record, I think it was the last time Dad ever did that.)


2012-12-19 12:17 pm (UTC) (Link)

Hopefully you seemed less shifty about it though. I got the same impression, not because of the request but because of his behaviour about it.


2012-12-19 12:19 pm (UTC) (Link)

Well, my Dad is six foot six and quite heavy, so he is often intimidating without meaning to, but since I was standing next to him going :D I think we didn't look too shifty. Anyway, Dad knew it was an odd request, he rang the bank beforehand and presented like four different kinds of ID or something voluntarily.


2012-12-19 03:12 pm (UTC) (Link)

Sounds very legit to me ^_^


2012-12-20 07:13 pm (UTC) (Link)

I can see dealing in that much cash if you were at a car swap or the seller didn't know you. Cash doesn't bounce like a check can.


2012-12-19 02:29 pm (UTC) (Link)

Either that or he was trying to pay off a loan shark or something? Definitely shady.


2012-12-19 04:53 pm (UTC) (Link)

I actually got this impression, especially if he had good friends- owing sharks money can make otherwise nice people cagey as anything.


2012-12-19 06:11 pm (UTC) (Link)

This is what I thought too...especially with his fidgetyness and the "what's 13% of $6700?" and turning down the Draft, saying he needs cash.


2012-12-19 08:02 pm (UTC) (Link)

Really? My first thought was buying a vehicle from a private seller. I've always felt awkward asking the teller for $2000- $2500 in cash because I feel like they'll judge...


2012-12-20 03:10 am (UTC) (Link)

Nah, at least where I work, it's not like we talk about 'hey that guy took out $3000 tee hee'. XD It's incredibly unremarkable to give out that much cash. A lot of people come for $1000-$2000.

It's once we go over $3000, asking what it's for is part of the job. Partly for conversation, partly for sales. So for me at least, taking out lots of cash isn't something I think twice about.


2012-12-19 07:57 am (UTC) (Link)

If he wrote a check to the friend he brought in could he have gotten out another $3000? And then a check to the 3rd person for $700?


2012-12-19 10:59 am (UTC) (Link)

Yes, technically. But in the case of yesterday, someone would have gotten a lot of twenties. Which is not what people want, unfortunately. We get some people who rage about getting fifties too. Days like that, where everyone's taking out a lot of cash are rare, fortunately.


2012-12-26 07:09 pm (UTC) (Link)

Does it ever make you wish they would bring the $500 bill back? Just curious.


2012-12-26 07:17 pm (UTC) (Link)

Didn't even know we had one of those until you asked! XD

Yes, certainly that would be a help. I get a lot of people who ask for $1000 bills, which have been retired for 12 years now. Unfortunately they no longer make those.


2012-12-19 11:48 pm (UTC) (Link)

It never rains but it pours. *hugs*

I hope you'll get a decent break for Christmas/Holiday Season.

First guy either was owing someone a lot of money and/or his kneecaps or buying a shitload of cocaine or similar, IMO (it could have been a car motorbike sale or something, but he just strikes me as someone either in fear of his life or strung out (and neither of those are excuses to speak to you like that - you are not his minion!)

Second guy was either very confused about how the bank (and/or the REAL WORLD) works or was trying something shifty with you. THe mind fairly boggles. ("Oh, you know Bob, too? I was just talking to him!" :P)


2012-12-20 03:13 am (UTC) (Link)

Christmas Day, Boxing Day and New Year's Day. And an hour extra off on both eves. Wish I had more of a break, but alas...that is how the cookie crumbled.

Well I was afraid to ask what it was for, really. So I've no idea.

That's the thing. Sometimes people are either confused, or they are trying to scam you. It's incredibly puzzling. Him, I think he was confused.

The guy after him, however, was trying to scam me. XD


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