As a reminder I work for ABank. Since it is near [insert holiday of your choice], people have been going to the bank in droves, as though we were giving away the money for free. Funny, we had free hot chocolate today with so few takers.
A little note of backround: Each teller is allowed to have X amount of dollars. The head teller can have X on hand and order Y from outside the bank. Part of this is robbery prevention, part of it is control. We have a limit at the counter for any client that comes in, of $3000. If you wish to get more, you can - we just need notice so we can make a special order for you. Simply because our head teller can't order in all the hundreds the Bank of Canada has.
A young man came into the bank this afternoon. He comes up to my wicket and hands me his card.
M: I need $6500.
Me: I'm sorry sir, the daily limit at the counter is $3000, per branch. If you want more then that, I can order it for you.
M: Well I need it right now. Can you give me a cheque?
Me: Yes, we can do a draft, no problem.
M: *paces back and forth* No no, it has to be cash. You have to give me cash.
Me: I'm sorry, I can't give you more then $3000.
M: *frowns* Well...what's 13% of $6700?
Me: *calculates and gives him the answer which escapes me at this moment, heh*
M: No no, that's not going to work. I need cash. He won't take the cheque. Give me the cash.
Me: I'm really sorry, but we don't have it on hand. *At this point, we had maybe $5000 between all the tellers in large bills - it has been a very busy day and it's almost over*
M: Well you need to make an exception for me. I have it in my account! It's in my account! I want it!
Me: I would get approval to make an exception for you except that we do not have the money on hand today. It's been a busy day unfortunately and we don't have any extra money today.
M: This is crap! It's in my account! I want it! *hits his hand on the counter* Hang on a minute! *stalks off*
Me: ....Uh...*I signal my boss so she can keep an eye out because this guy seems quite upset*
M: *comes back with two other people* Are you sure I can only have $3000?
Me: Yes, I'm really sorry about that.
M: FINE. So now that I'm cleaning you out, what are you going to do about the next person?
Me: Anyone is guaranteed to get the $3000 when they come in. *does the transaction for him*
M: *takes his money and his friends and leaves*
I liked his friends. They were calm, level headed, and managed to talk him down for me, which was a great help, really. Thank goodness for that.
I know you are thinking that last one didn't seem that out there. This, this was the true WTF.
Me: Hi there, welcome to ABank, how can I help you today?
Man: I normally go to the branch out in that city up north, but I needed to check on my account and I forgot my card.
Me: Okay, I can help you with that. Could I have your phone number so I can pull up your account?
Man: I don't have a phone. It got disconnected.
Me: I see, what about the number you had when you opened the account?
Man: It's a bank account, not a phone number.
Me: ...Alright, could I have your name?
Man: It's John Smith.
Me: Okay. *pulls up the list. There are at least 45 John Smiths.* Could I have your address so I can narrow it down a little?
Man: Well you have it under the wrong address. It's under 121 Fake Ave way out where I used to live, but I moved.
Me: *Can't find Fake Ave, not even close* They may have updated it the last time you were in? Where do you live now?
Man: YOU HAVE ME UNDER FAKE AVE. I KNOW YOU DO. THE MANAGER AT BRANCH IS BOB SOMEBODY. I GO THERE ALL THE TIME.
Me: *Scrambling through all three ways to find John Smith here!*
Man: Well, don't you have it? Did you find it?
Me: No, I'm sorry nothing is coming up.
Man: Well maybe you can help me anyway. I got this money order here sometime ago, like three weeks. And I think you charged me for it.
Me: Oh good, you have the information? Maybe I can find your account that way-
Man: I just want a receipt for this.
Me: Well if I can find the account that should be no problem *I type in the money order info to pull up the file*
Man: *interrupts* Give that BACK. I already PAID for it!
Me: *hands it over* I'm sorry, I was just trying to find your account.
Man: I paid for it with cash!
Me: I see. Well the receipt you get then is this-
Man: Hey! When you put John Smith in, does it show you Other Bank?
Me: *I am kinda floored by this question* Um...I don't understand what you mean *I just told him there is nothing on the system here*
Man: Is this NOT ABANK? You have access to ABank's systems don't you? You looked me up?
Me: Well I can't find you but-
Man: Okay listen. When you look up my name, John Smith, can you see Other Bank on there?
Man: Good. I told Other Bank to leave me alone. *turns around and walks away*
One client is upset we can't give him all of his money in cash form, and another leaves me at a loss for words. Tis the season for everyone to go to the bank!