Farscape -- Chi's Hat
poet in training jazmin_firewing wrote in customers_suck
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Angry Man is Too Angry for Tea
Hello again from the purple-and-orange tea shop! This suck requires a little bit of background information.

When you buy tea from me in the store, I ask if you have one of our Special Tea Containers. If you don't, I'll try my darndest to sell you one because they're pretty nifty and very useful. If you already have one, I'll give you a big smile and a paper transfer bag, assuming that you will move the tea from the bag into your STC once you get home.
However, if you buy tea from the company online, they will ship it to you in a small resealable plastic bag because there's no guarantee that the tea will make it into your STC within five days. We do not have small resealable bags in the store, only really big ones, and you can only get one of those if (a) we're not sold out, and (b) you're buying more than two pounds.

Now, onto the suck! In script format behind the cut for your reading pleasure.

The scene: 5:55pm on Sunday, just a few minutes before we close. I'm wiping down the counter when Angry Man (AM), Wife, and Son enter the store.

Me: Hi! How are you today?
AM: Fine, thanks. I'd like some of the Expensive Black Tea, please.
Me: [big smile] Of course! [gets barrel down from wall cubby] This is a great tea. Have you bought it from us before?
AM: Yes. Oh, and I got a coupon from you guys, but I don't have it with me. Can I still use it?
Me: Uh, yeah, we have a copy by the register I can scan for you. This month it's $5 off when you spend $35. How much of the tea would you like today?
AM: One pound, please. So I'll get $10 off, right?
Me: Ah, no, sorry, The coupon is $5 off when you spend $35 or more, not $5 off for every $35 you spend. [fetches coupon from register, shows it to AM]
AM: *to Wife* ... valid until October 31st ...
Me: Yeah, October's coupon was $10 off when you spent $50. This month's coupon is $5 off when you spend $35. Do you have a STC at home?

AM: Yes. I'd like it in a bag.
Me: All right! [snags 2 transfer bags from under the counter] I'm going to have to split it into two transfer bags, ok? [starts setting up scale]
AM: Wait, what? Why are you splitting it into two bags?
Me: Because each bag will only fit about 8oz. It's ok, I'll make sure you still get the 10% off!* [begins measuring tea into first bag]
AM: And the free tea samples, I get those too, right?
Me: [mental warning light beginning to flash] No, we don't give those out in the store. That's only available online. You're welcome to help yourself to any of the tea samples we have out, though.
AM: But why can't you just give it to me?
Me: [trying to seem like I'm kind of joking] You see this guy here? [points to Bossman, who has emerged from the back room and is doing something on the computer] He's my boss. You have no idea how much trouble I'd be in with him if I just gave you free tea leaves.
AM: Well, can't you ask him?
Me: Sure! [turns to B] Hey Bossman, you know that thing where if you buy a certain amount of tea online, they give you free tea samples? Do we do that in the store?
B: No, we do not.

Me: [finishes measuring tea into the two bags, prints out two labels] Ok, there we go! It's s little over 16oz, so you'll definitely get the 10% off* in addition to the coupon. Now, just make sure you get the tea into your STC as soon as you get home, ok?
AM: Why does the tea need to be in a tin?
Me: [mental warning light flashing more urgently] Because in these little paper bags, the tea will only stay fresh for about 5 days.
AM: WHAT! That's unacceptable! Why can't you give me a metal bag like I get when I order tea online?!
Me: I'm very sorry sir, but we're sold out of the resealable bags.
AM: WHAT DO YOU MEAN YOU'RE SOLD OUT! I spend hundreds of dollars every month online and this is the service I get?!
Me: ... [completely shocked by AM's outburst] I believe you, and we really appreciate your business, but we're sold out of the resealable bags.

B: [turns to AM] I'm the general manager.
AM: I want a resealable bag for my tea!
B: Listen, you only get the little bags if you buy online. In the store, we only have one size of resealable bag, and they're for if you're getting two or more pounds of tea. And we happen to be sold out of those.
B: .... [obviously as confused as everyone else by this] We're ... sold out? We ran out? We don't have any right now?
AM: I want the regional director's card!
B: .... Why?
AM: This is completely unacceptable!
B: Let me write down the customer service number for you. [writes it down on a sticky note]
AM: [snatches sticky note from B's hand, starts to storm out]
Wife: [says something in another language to AM, obviously along the lines of, "but what about the tea?"]
AM: [responds in same language, equally obviously along the lines of, "forget it! We're leaving!"]
Me + Coworkers: What.
B: Let's get those doors closed!

*if you buy 16iz (1lb) of tea, you get 10% off the price of the tea.

.... I just can't wait for Black Friday. Any guesses about the kind of people who go shopping for expensive tea at 3am? Coworker S and I are kind of excited to find out.
To all my fellow Statesians: Happy Thanksgiving!


2012-11-22 05:03 am (UTC) (Link)

Next time he comes in you should reccommend some CAFFEINE FREE TEA. Such an angry tea-drinker.


2012-11-22 05:48 am (UTC) (Link)

Or maybe some peppermint tea. Tea shouldn't make you angry!


2012-11-22 03:48 pm (UTC) (Link)

Personally, I'm hoping that if he likes shopping online so much, he can just stick to doing that and leave me and my coworkers alone.


2012-11-22 05:48 pm (UTC) (Link)

Yes! That would be ideal. If it makes you feel any better, I love your shop and I'm never rude when I go in there :)


2012-11-22 06:56 am (UTC) (Link)

Me! I would so buy tea at 3am if my stock ran out. I can't sleep without my cup of tea before bed. It's part of my ritual, carefully measuring out the tea into a strainer, one sugar cube, heating up the water to just under boiling... :D


2012-11-22 10:15 am (UTC) (Link)

This post makes me lose faith in humanity :( How could anyone possibly be so angry while they're shopping in your store...


2012-11-22 11:21 am (UTC) (Link)

Wow... just wow...

I feel bad for his wife.


2012-11-22 11:35 am (UTC) (Link)

Oh gosh, don't let me and my bank account in a store devoted to tea when there are sales. I'll forget I have to pay rent. *laughs*


2012-11-22 11:42 am (UTC) (Link)

I really want some fancy tea now. All I have a crappy store own brand bags atm. The joys being a skint student :p Also its tea. Tea is for calming and fixing all your problems. How he got so rageface over a different style of bag is just beyond me. What an idiot.

Edited at 2012-11-22 11:42 am (UTC)


2012-11-22 03:16 pm (UTC) (Link)

Loose tea works out pretty cheaply.I find it worth it.


2012-11-22 03:51 pm (UTC) (Link)

If you save up a little, you can get a decent quantity of loose tea, and that'll last you longer than a box of tea bags. Also, it'll taste better! ; )


2012-11-22 08:12 pm (UTC) (Link)

Not only that, if you make up a nice big teapot and put a cosy on it, you'll save on electricity too. ;)


2012-11-23 11:30 am (UTC) (Link)

I've been thinking I might ask for some Whittards vouchers or something for Christmas. They had a black lemon tea in there a while ago and I just wanted to take a bath in it XD


2012-11-22 02:25 pm (UTC) (Link)

I'll be seeing someone in one of those stores at close to 3am. (I'm nice, though.) If I must be in the mall with hordes of people at an ungodly hour - not my choice - at least I'm going home with tea.

Edited at 2012-11-22 02:25 pm (UTC)


2012-11-22 06:18 pm (UTC) (Link)

What does STC stand for?


2012-11-22 08:07 pm (UTC) (Link)

Not OP.

"When you buy tea from me in the store, I ask if you have one of our Special Tea Containers." --> STC.


2012-11-22 08:14 pm (UTC) (Link)



2012-11-22 09:49 pm (UTC) (Link)

so where's the tea rec?? :) what's a good calming tea (after foolishly braving the insanity that his holiday shopping)? or an energizing one?

sadly, I don't think there any tea shops around here except for maybe Starbucks *shudders*


2012-11-22 10:19 pm (UTC) (Link)

I find anything with citrus and jasmine to be soothing/calming, and at the store we usually recommend a blend of lavender and peach as a "knockout blend".
Actually, powdered Japanese green tea known as matcha is great for mental alertness. I'm going to be drinking a ton of it tonight! ^_^;;


2012-11-22 11:54 pm (UTC) (Link)

I have a peaceful blend with aniseed and fennel. It's really nice, and I bought it through a fair-trade seller so it's slavery free! Delicious and ethical.


2012-11-22 10:55 pm (UTC) (Link)

I might have a cup of nice tea with my slice of pie tonight. I have a small red round tea container, but I have trouble opening it without my husband's help.


2012-11-22 11:52 pm (UTC) (Link)

My pregnant self has changed how I taste tea. It tastes wrong... I'm so sad! My favourite black tea is the one we picked up in Fiji, it's light and a little bit fruity. But alas! Whenever I try and drink it now it's just not right. As someone with a large assortment of teas, this is a devastating turn of events.

Also, I'm jealous you work in a fancy tea shop. Tea is the best.


2012-11-23 04:34 am (UTC) (Link)

...pregnancy has affected how I taste my favorite foods. ;; Pickles taste dirty. And a lot of coffees taste bleck and I love coffee!

Thankfully, though, I can still love my tea. But I totally understand!


2012-11-23 11:30 am (UTC) (Link)

I went off coffee ages ago, so I'm not too sad about that, but tea is my comfort drink. Tea and toast. Now I can have the toast(and sometimes only that) but no tea. Sad faces. I want olives all the time, but apparently I could just be craving salt due to my very low BP. I only have till May before things get semi back to


2012-11-24 02:51 am (UTC) (Link)

I'm due in March.

For me I keep getting cravings for things at the same time. Not necessarily together - although I did crave mac and cheese with A1 early on -shakes head- - but like I'm craving ice cream right now and like waffles. And soda, but that's pry addiction. xD

I noticed other things taste different, too, but I'm not sure how, just that they're "different." Made fried rice the other day, and though it was good it was like "Why is this tasting weird? D;"

edit: And pickles! Even if they taste dirty, I crave them sooooo much. D;

Edited at 2012-11-24 04:12 am (UTC)


2012-11-23 10:05 am (UTC) (Link)

During the final few months of my pregnancy, all food tasted like sawdust to me, it was awful.

Right after I had my daughter, my mom went to the store and she bought all my favorite foods, every single one, even my favorite beer. It was one of the nicest things she ever did.

It all tasted good again, too!


2012-11-23 11:34 am (UTC) (Link)

My mum was telling me that she also went off vegemite whilst pregnant, and it was the first and best thing she ate after my sister was born. I miss vegemite too... Such an Aussie! But really, nothing beats vegemite toast and a nice strong cuppa in the morning... Your mum sounds like a gem! I'm looking forward to eating my fav cheeses again. I might tell the husband man to do a similar thing to what your mother did... Such a good idea!


2012-11-23 10:54 am (UTC) (Link)

I'm in the UK so I don't know what shop you work in but it sounds amazing! I buy from Imperial Teas of Lincoln, just bought some Jun Shan Golden Needles which is apparently the rarest tea in the world so that's one off my bucket list!
And that man is a bag of wanks! How could he molest a purveyor of tea!?!


2012-11-23 04:38 pm (UTC) (Link)

I suddenly want fancy tea. >_>

ETA: OMG you guys have a location in the mall 5 mins from my apartment O_O

Edited at 2012-11-23 04:39 pm (UTC)