The stories you are about to read are true. The groceries have been changed to protect their expiration dates.
This is the city, Malaga, New Jersey. I carry a nametag.
It was Friday, November 16, 2012. It was cool in Malaga. We were working the day watch out of the front end. My partners are Buttercup, Princess of Hammersmith and Lisa, the Brony Scrapper. My supervisor is Genie, the Mighty Huntress Before the Lord. The boss is Bob, the Burgermeister Meisterburger. My name's Thursday; I’m a cashier.
I live for you and me… and now I really come to see… that life would be much better once you’re gone…
Our store has a deal every Thanksgiving where you can earn a free turkey, ham, turkey breast, lasagna, kosher chicken, or Tofurky® by spending a given amount over a six week period. This year’s promotion began on October 14 and extends through to Thanksgiving.
Originally, the deal required one to spend $400 to receive the free holiday item. However, when Hurricane Sandy hit, it caused quite a few of the stores up north to be closed for about a week. Because of this, and in an effort to allow more people to take part in the promotion, corporate lowered the qualifying threshold to $300 last Sunday.
Many customers were appreciative of the gesture (especially those who might have just missed earning their holiday item this time around); however one customer in particular was not. He had spent over $400 and had reached the qualifying mark before it had been reduced, and angrily noted that had he known we were going to lower the mark, he would have stopped at $300 and started again on a new card (as it’s a limit one offer per loyalty card).
He demanded that I transfer $100 in credit from his card to another card. I declined to do so, for two reasons: one, I am unable to perform that function on my register. Two, the only way that points can be transferred to a loyalty card is if the points are being transferred from a receipt that does not actually have a customer’s card on it (that is, if it’s the store’s default card, if the receipt has no loyalty card on it, or if a different store’s loyalty card accidentally scans.)
He gets angrier, and we start our way up the chain. Sam, our podium person, was the next to say no, it couldn’t be done, and then it was supervisor Donna’s turn to decline. Next, front end manager Jim said no, so it went to Bob. When Bob said no, the customer snapped. He said to Bob, “You’re not going to j** me out of this deal, are you, you f***ing k***? They should have killed you all off in the ‘40s!” This caused Bob to direct loss prevention to escort said customer from the store.
Well, I got home early one Monday… and much to my surprise… she was eatin’ chicken and dumplings… with some other guy…
One of the local brands of baked goods was purchased by a Mexican outfit. Since then, the Mexican company has been putting out bread under their own name, with a helpful reminder on the package as to how to pronounce that name. This bread has caused us to receive complaints for two reasons.
The first reason is that we should be selling American products only. Besides the fact that the bread is in fact baked in this country, I wonder if said customer also objects to companies like Lucky Goldstar selling popular products in this country.
The second reason, however, is that selling said Mexican brand of bread is degrading to women. Part of me understands this complaint; after all, there’s a reason that the package contains a reminder of how to pronounce it. However, the brand has been around for a little over 65 years now and its current meaning is completely coincidental.
And he played on the company bowling team, and every single night he had a strange recurring dream where he was wearing lederhosen in a vat of sour cream – but that’s really not important to the story…
Our store has a snack bar where one can purchase tasty comestibles. One of the perks of the snack bar is that if one purchases a fountain soda or a cup of coffee, one is entitled to free refills so long as one stays in the snack bar area. Indeed, the soda machine is located in the snack bar area so that our cashier does not have to refill a customer’s soda cup. However, one only gets the perk of free refills if one purchases the soda or coffee at the snack bar.
I was sitting in the snack bar area myself when a customer walked into the store with a McDonald’s branded cup, and filled it with ice and soda. This was noticed by the employee running the snack bar cash register, who told the gentleman that he couldn’t do that. The man responded with “But you guys give free refills!” Our employee reminds him that he had to buy the soda to get free refills. The customer stated he had no money, and left, full soda cup in hand. I am assuming loss prevention stopped him, however I cannot confirm this.
I’ve got lots of lovely lira, now the Deutsch Mark’s getting dearer, and my dollar bills would buy the Brooklyn Bridge…
It’s time for another Good Idea, Bad Idea.
Good Idea: At a regular register, requesting to bag your own groceries, when there is a bagger present.
Bad Idea: At a regular register, requesting to scan your own groceries, when there is a cashier present.
- From where quality comes first...