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dirdybirdy
cally7 cally7 wrote in customers_suck
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Creepy
This happened a few days ago but as it is still making me shudder when it decides to jump into my brain, I thought I'd post it.

There is a regular customer who comes in and knows everything, he's always giving me the "keep away" vibe so I do my job politely and don't engage him at all. Recently he's been trying to chat to me and try and be amusing (his idea of amusing is putting others down and trying to tell us our jobs) but I have continued to give minimum responses.

The other morning he comes in to pay for his fuel and then decides he want 10 cigarettes as well so I ring them up too while he counts out the extra money. Then instead of just handing it to me he tips it into my hand making sure his fingertip slides along my palm, my stomach turned and it was all I could do to keep my hand still. I wish I could say it was an innocent gesture but the smirk on his face afterwards told me all I needed to know. I have no idea why he has picked on me to be his target, there are other more attractive women working here, in fact all of them are, than me.

If he does it again I am jerking my hand away while making my apologies.


Edit: Just to say thank you for the lovely replies and support. You have been really kind.

onedotfour

2012-11-16 02:51 pm (UTC) (Link)

he can sense your fear and it turns him on!! creepy!

cally7

2012-11-16 03:33 pm (UTC) (Link)

I am not scared of him, I'm restraining myself from sloshing him one.

onedotfour

2012-11-16 03:36 pm (UTC) (Link)

Id be scared, but I have a really active imagination sometimes. Too many horror movies and reading the news.. stay away just in case.

cally7

2012-11-16 04:07 pm (UTC) (Link)

I've no idea why I am not scared, he's much bigger than me, but he's also triggers my fury. It's more of a "how dare you try that crap on me you cowardly piece of buttlint!"

I think it comes from when I was a school playground assistant. I didn't take any rubbish then either. Heheh.

onedotfour

2012-11-16 04:20 pm (UTC) (Link)

I wish i was as brave. Im convinced that most people secretly want my organs or to make ipad sleeves from my skin. D:

astridmyrna

2012-11-17 06:30 am (UTC) (Link)

I've no idea why I am not scared, he's much bigger than me, but he's also triggers my fury. It's more of a "how dare you try that crap on me you cowardly piece of buttlint!"

IKR? The same thing happens to me. It's like, "HEY BUB, I TREAT YOU POLITELY AND THIS IS HOW YOU RETURN THE FAVOR? THERE'S A SPECIAL CIRCLE OF HELL WITH YOUR NAME ON IT."

verminiusrex

2012-11-16 02:51 pm (UTC) (Link)

Don't make apologies while jerking your hand away, his behavior is inexcusable and you did nothing wrong. Report this to management, and if his behavior continues or escalates hit it head on. Creepers like this either don't get that they are behaving badly, or don't care and will try to play the victim when called on creepy behavior.

re_vised

2012-11-16 03:11 pm (UTC) (Link)

This.

cally7

2012-11-16 03:34 pm (UTC) (Link)

I am allowed to stand up for myself, thankfully, and if he tries anything again I will be letting my manager know. No one seems to like him where I work.

verminiusrex

2012-11-16 03:48 pm (UTC) (Link)

Tell him what already happened, having a reported history strengthens your position against the creeper.

cally7

2012-11-16 04:04 pm (UTC) (Link)

I shall let her know when I see her next, she's unlikely to take much notice but she is fairly ok about me standing up to myself. As long as it is politely done.

verminiusrex

2012-11-16 09:15 pm (UTC) (Link)

Documentation is also good. A simple list of date, time estimate and creepy behavior jotted down in a log or Google document for easy access gives you something to reference if there are questions on what happened when.

starry_diadem

2012-11-16 03:40 pm (UTC) (Link)

Don't make any apologies. He's a creep and deserves none. Besides, what would you apologise for? Refusing his advances? Failing to be flattered by his attentions? Having the unmitigated gall to be unavailable to every man who thinks he's paying you a compliment when he touches you without your permission? We women are too prone to think that we're at fault and that we should keep trying to smooth things over, even when dealing with creeps like him.


I hope your manager has your back here.

ceebeegee

2012-11-16 03:46 pm (UTC) (Link)

We women are too prone to think that we're at fault and that we should keep trying to smooth things over, even when dealing with creeps like him.

This times a THOUSAND.

Don't apologize. You have done nothing wrong. He is in fact counting on your being too polite to call him on his nasty creeper shit. Knowing that, use it--you can even pretend to be too busy to actually reach for the money, "oh, just leave it on the counter" or something. Anything not to play his sicko game. And maybe say something to the management.

Fucking pig.

cally7

2012-11-16 04:02 pm (UTC) (Link)

When I'll say sorry it will be as fake but polite as possible. Hidden sarcasm type of thing.

I know I haven't done anything wrong, he is just getting my official work manners.

fluffydragon

2012-11-16 04:23 pm (UTC) (Link)

Not to hit you over the head with what other commenters have already said, but he wants you to react to him. Apologizing, even sarcastically, is still a response. Hell, I'd stop communicating all together, don't even give him the minimum responses. Maybe he'll go somewhere else.

cally7

2012-11-16 04:36 pm (UTC) (Link)

I pretty much don't respond to him now, it's minimum manners and yes and no's as apropriate. My tone is pretty not interested too. I do get it, for some reason, I'm not afraid of him, I just am trying not to hit him because that is just as bad as him being creepy.

fluffydragon

2012-11-16 04:43 pm (UTC) (Link)

I get you. Maybe at some point he'll sense you aren't afraid of him, just annoyed, and he'll go find another target to pick on.

I hate creepers. I mean, seriously, have they nothing better to do with their time?

I think you're generally handling it right - but I still wouldn't apologize to him for any reason, and I"m sorry you have to deal with his shit. I hope he goes away.

callmetothejedi

2012-11-16 04:43 pm (UTC) (Link)

I don't think that this person deserves "minimum manners" to be honest.

cally7

2012-11-16 05:04 pm (UTC) (Link)

No but I deserve my job! :D Heheh.

mel_redcap

2012-11-17 12:36 am (UTC) (Link)

...This is just my opinion, but... I think you should call him on it. Bluntly. What you're doing now, even though it's "not engaging" him and in many circumstances would be the right response, is encouraging him I think. *You* know you're not afraid of him, but he might think you are - from his point of view, you change your behaviour around him and withdraw into your shell, and maybe all he sees is "haha I'm getting to her!" At this point he hasn't been TOLD to stop, so he can pull the oh-so-innocent I-didn't-think-anything-was-wrong defence. :-/

If he touches you again, maybe pull your hand away, let him see that you're angry, and tell him "Don't do that, it's inappropriate and I do not appreciate it." He'll probably go off on a "whaaaat, I'm not dooooing anything" spiel. "You know perfectly well what I mean. Do not touch me. It is inappropriate and creepy and if you don't stop I will refuse to serve you." (This of course works much better if you've given your manager/supervisor a heads-up and they're OK with this plan. :P)

shukivengeance

2012-11-16 04:10 pm (UTC) (Link)

It's awkward being hit on while at work, isn't it? And most of the time it seems to be creepy or old guys who do this. My theory is that they know you can't just slap them and tell them to eff off. While they're the customer you are to an extent a captive audience.

Make sure your manager knows about this incident and talk to them about how you plan on approaching future ones, in case the creepy guy decides to make a bullshit complaint about you when you riightfully make it clear his behavior is unacceptable.

corridor7f

2012-11-16 06:01 pm (UTC) (Link)

Talk to your manager and let him / her know about this guy.

I'd ask him politely to leave his money on the counter next time so he can't touch you. Customers sometimes choose to do this if they are uncomfortable with the possibility of touch, I don't see why employees can't. Also let you manager know this so Creeper can't complain.

lilsongbird

2012-11-16 07:55 pm (UTC) (Link)

Just going to note from a psychology perspective why he had likely targeted you. You comment how you are far from the most attractive person there. This kind of thinking likely shows in your body language as a lack of confidence. This is what creepers look for when selecting a target. Not saying this is your fault- far from it. Creeper is totally to blame here. I just hope understanding creeper mentality a little might help you.

If he does it again or tries to up the ante, do not apologize. You do not need to be polite to this jerk.

Sorry you have to deal with this looser :(

cally7

2012-11-16 08:17 pm (UTC) (Link)

Sorry but my body language is a very happy thing, and confident, I dance and sing around the shop if anything he might look on me as a challange because he's a bully. Looks wise I am just aware that I am the least attractive looking not that I am unattractive.

Saying that, I absolutely understand where you are coming from and would usually agree. And yes he is a total loser who needs to bully others to get his jollies.

lilsongbird

2012-11-16 08:23 pm (UTC) (Link)

Ah gotcha. I misunderstood. Usually when I see people say they are the least attractive, they mean they think they are unattractive, which shows a lot in body language, far more than people are aware. Creepers usually like the easiest victim, the person who is least likely to fight back, which is why they usually target whoever is the least confident.

Good luck in dealing with him.

cally7

2012-11-16 09:02 pm (UTC) (Link)

I think he may see me as a captive audience, unable to leave the till and therefore at his command. Either way he tries his tricks again he'll probably be wearing his change. As a piercing.

builtforsin

2012-11-17 03:23 am (UTC) (Link)

sneeze on his hand! /nooo.... just kidding.

He really is a creep ew. I would NOT apologize to him, because you did nothing wrong.


astridmyrna

2012-11-17 06:29 am (UTC) (Link)

Ewwwwwwwww.

Glad to hear you're going to tell your managers about it and that they'll have your back. One thing I can think of to kind of give an extra bit of space and time is to have a cash holder, where the customer has to put all of the money in first and the cashier takes it away when the customer's hands are at his sides. This can give you a bit more time to pull your hand away in case he tries to make a grab for your hand to "put in extra change." Ugh, I just wish this guy was banned outright after he sneaked in that first touch.

I have no idea why he has picked on me to be his target, there are other more attractive women working here, in fact all of them are, than me.

I think maybe they pick on people they think won't garner as much attention, maybe?

perrrfect_angel

2012-11-17 04:45 pm (UTC) (Link)

I used to have several creepers at one store I used to work at that used a few different annoying contacts at the POS. One liked to place his money in my hand in such a manner as to allow him to clutch my fingers tightly. After the second time, I would tell him his total and wait for the money to be placed on the counter, not offering my hands nor verbally instructing him where to put it. He knew he'd gotten his last finger-grabbing with me.

Two others liked to do the "hold the cash out, yank away as the cashier reaches for it" gag. Again, I'd tell them the total and simply wait until their payment rested on the counter. As a cashier, I've no where else to be until the end of my shift, and usually that's HOURS away from when this shit gets pulled. Sometimes I point this out politely. "I have nowhere else to be for the next X number of hours, take your time. The people =behind= you might have other places they'd like to be, however."

Perhaps you should ask if your manager minds you using a store's right to refuse service to people. He sounds like he's worn out whatever welcome he might have ever had.