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nuke
zenjaphy zenjaphy wrote in customers_suck
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Tip of the iceberg, sad to say.
I work at a gas station, worked there for a while actually, and there are just a couple of things I'd like to say:

If you smoke premuim cigarettes (Lark, Kent, True, etc...) you're probably an asshole. No, you're not better because you can afford to spend an extra fifty cents per pack. You're still going to die of painful, painful cancer, get over yourself!

While we're at it, driving a Lexus doesn't give you free reign to talk down to anybody, let alone the kid who tells the credit card machine what to charge you. By the way, thanks for telling me to "x" your reciept and leaving before the machine even dialed, hope that pizza was quite tasty.

Players of the lottery, please kill yourselves. There is nothing more annoying in this world than having some mouth-breather scatch off instant tickets on your counter for half an hour. You're not going to win! The game is designed for you not to win! The state of New York thanks you all for paying your stupidity tax.

Most lotto customers are painfully slow, but this guy from about a year back will always have a special place in my heart:

Idiot: This is truly unbelievable! I can't believe that eight tickets in a row would lose?
Me: Why?
Idiot: The odds are better than that. I mean, this is truly unbelievable.
Me: Yeah, you'd think New York state wants to make money off these things...
Idiot: What, you're saying that this game is rigged?
Me: Yes.
Idiot: People win, it's not like there are no winners so... It's just, eight tickets! You'd think for eighty dollars they'd at least let you win your money back.
Me: (Looks at him for a while) Do you understand the concept of gambling?

_bird_man_

2007-03-04 06:52 am (UTC) (Link)

Did you actually rob your customer? Why are you even here?

zenjaphy

2007-03-04 07:11 am (UTC) (Link)

Oops, forgot a word!

sweetshit16

2007-03-04 08:44 am (UTC) (Link)

lol

_bird_man_

2007-03-04 08:53 am (UTC) (Link)

...

caddan

2007-03-04 06:28 pm (UTC) (Link)

Now i'm curious... i've only seen the edited version....

elpblonde

2007-03-04 10:22 pm (UTC) (Link)

By the way, thanks for telling me to "x" your reciept and leaving before the machine even dialed, hope that pizza was quite tasty.

i'm assuming the hope was added later, because it's italicized.

zenjaphy

2007-03-04 10:47 pm (UTC) (Link)

Good call.

duckay

2007-03-04 08:35 am (UTC) (Link)

This is the reason why, in this part of Australia, pokies have to be labelled with a big sign saying 'the highest chance you have on any machine of receiving the jackpot is one in a million'.

zenjaphy

2007-03-04 08:48 am (UTC) (Link)

That's so awesome.

teacuptempest

2007-03-04 08:50 am (UTC) (Link)

Not really, just says a lot about the fucking idiots that use them to be honest

duckay

2007-03-04 08:53 am (UTC) (Link)

It's not so awesome when you realise that it's because Australia has such a big problem with gambling addicts and problem gambling. But anywhere that has gambling has to have leaflets explaining problem gambling and the chances of winning at different things (eg, poker machines, the lotto, keno), and all the pokies have the aforementioned sign. It gives staff members something to point to when someone complains about the odds.

"Sorry, sir, the odds of winning the jackpot lottery are one in 80,000. Alternatively, sir, if you insist, this other lottery draw is only one in 50,000. The chance of winning ANYTHING on a scratchie is 1 in 2000. Have a leaflet."

(Note: The aforementioned stats are pulled out my butt, but approximately correct. I lost my copy of the leaflet.)

haloless17

2007-03-04 02:34 pm (UTC) (Link)

i worked at a lottery booth for about 8 months (just quit like...a month ago) and i can tell you that the chance of winning your money back on any scratch lottery ticket in ontario can range from 1 in 5 to 1 in 15

but like i said, thats ontario. that would suck if it was 1 in 2000...thats insane.

occamshairbrush

2007-03-05 02:32 am (UTC) (Link)

American lottery tickets usually have the odds printed on the back and on the store signage, but in small print. Not that it matters, people wouldn't read it anyway.


anyamartinez

2007-03-04 09:45 am (UTC) (Link)

Just think of the lottery as a tax on stupid people.

hotclaws

2007-03-04 10:01 am (UTC) (Link)

"But red came up 2000000 times!It must be black next"

halikamil05

2007-03-04 12:14 pm (UTC) (Link)

The other night a woman came in and was scratching tickets for 45 minutes. she spent $500, and used the the $200 she won to buy more tickets. The counter was a mess, and she had blown $700. And she, or course, stood right in front of the lotto machine, effectively blocking any other customers.

lily_shrike

2007-03-04 04:12 pm (UTC) (Link)

Oh my god, I love your icon!!! May I gank with credit?

halikamil05

2007-03-05 01:14 am (UTC) (Link)

gank away, fellow wage slave!

captainsjm

2007-03-04 01:56 pm (UTC) (Link)

I heard once that for the more expensive tickets (can't remember if it was the tenners or the twenty-dollars), one out of four are supposed to win. Course, it could just be a dollar winner, but still. So that is a bit odd.

That said, death to the people who buy a handfull of tickets, turn around to scratch them off, cash in any winners and buy another bunch. Repeat five or six times. The tickets don't magically change while you are scratching. Just buy as many as you budgeted for the night. One transaction, less hatred. It's the only way you actually win.

spamwarrior

2007-06-13 04:08 am (UTC) (Link)

I contest: death to the people who budget lottery money. I buy tickets and if I win I turn around and buy more. I've decided to slend, say, ten dollars on a lottery ticket instead of a movie ticket and I'm not playing soley to win money, but to be entertained (I love the strachie stuff). So if I win I'm jsut going to have more entertainment - it's not like it costs me anything past the original ten bucks.

kaelstra

2007-03-04 03:19 pm (UTC) (Link)

Oh yes, I feel the lotto pain. It's almost always really old, slow people who are really anal about how they want their stupid lottery tickets too.

I've gotten those people that buy a few tickets, win on one, trade it in for another....and it goes on. And what boggles me is all these old people who will spend anywhere from 50-100$ in goddamn scratch-off tickets. Where the fuck do they get the money to blow on this? I know all of them aren't wealthy retirees, which makes me think they're spending their social security checks on shit like that-I mean, they NEVER win that much, and they're supposed to eat and survive with that money.

cryingcat613

2007-03-04 07:42 pm (UTC) (Link)

I hate the bastards that drive Lexus cars and feel that they are so much better than us. No, moron, you just spent waaaay too much money on a hunk of metal! Get over yourself!

I went to high school where a Lexus was the average car that you parked outside the garage. Needless to say, my minivan (and later PT Cruiser) did not get along well with this crowd.

kearny

2007-03-05 10:14 pm (UTC) (Link)

What's wrong with Lexuses? (Lexi?)

cryingcat613

2007-03-05 10:18 pm (UTC) (Link)

Nothing, except most of the kids who drive them are spoiled brats.

Haha, I stumbled over that same problem with the spelling of multiple Lexuses/Lexi.

veriria

2007-03-04 07:52 pm (UTC) (Link)

When I worked at a gas station on CT, I'd have a lady come in every week and spend roughly $500 in lottery tickets. Crazy.

project_mayhem_

2007-03-05 06:54 am (UTC) (Link)

Gambling addiction is fucked up. I work in a credit card security division. I've seen people blow more than what most people make in casinos.