I work at a gas station, worked there for a while actually, and there are just a couple of things I'd like to say:
If you smoke premuim cigarettes (Lark, Kent, True, etc...) you're probably an asshole. No, you're not better because you can afford to spend an extra fifty cents per pack. You're still going to die of painful, painful cancer, get over yourself!
While we're at it, driving a Lexus doesn't give you free reign to talk down to anybody, let alone the kid who tells the credit card machine what to charge you. By the way, thanks for telling me to "x" your reciept and leaving before the machine even dialed, hope that pizza was quite tasty.
Players of the lottery, please kill yourselves. There is nothing more annoying in this world than having some mouth-breather scatch off instant tickets on your counter for half an hour. You're not going to win! The game is designed for you not to win! The state of New York thanks you all for paying your stupidity tax.
Most lotto customers are painfully slow, but this guy from about a year back will always have a special place in my heart:
Idiot: This is truly unbelievable! I can't believe that eight tickets in a row would lose?
Idiot: The odds are better than that. I mean, this is truly unbelievable.
Me: Yeah, you'd think New York state wants to make money off these things...
Idiot: What, you're saying that this game is rigged?
Idiot: People win, it's not like there are no winners so... It's just, eight tickets! You'd think for eighty dollars they'd at least let you win your money back.
Me: (Looks at him for a while) Do you understand the concept of gambling?
- Tip of the iceberg, sad to say.