Sergeant FuzzyBoots xx_kitty_kat_xx wrote in customers_suck
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Dear Purchaser of [Company]'s 'Fine' Product,

For the love of all things holy, please do not ever again answer your phone while masturbating.  If you must answer it, then stop what you're doing first.  That is beyond creepy.  
How do you know it wasn't your mother calling you? 
No way am I telling you that we were giving you a refund due to the fact that the parts for your item are still in China.   While I told you I had the wrong number, I was actually lying to you.  Next time, you call me.  Fully clothed, with both hands on the phone.

Yours in Disgust,
The Warranty Phone Monkey who now needs to scrub her ears with bleach.


2006-05-02 11:39 am (UTC) (Link)

OMG!!!! I'm sorry but I laughed when I read that. I know it must have been gross for you but the way you worded it was funny.


2006-05-02 11:41 am (UTC) (Link)

Having distanced myself from it by several hours, I too can now see the funny side. Please don't apologise for laughing, you'd laugh more if you could have heard the way he answered the phone.


2006-05-02 12:16 pm (UTC) (Link)

I didn't laugh, I said EW! I work as a carhop at Sonic and damn.. I've heard stories of people coming up to cars with people inside exposing themselves. Luckily i haven't, but that's fuckng disgusting.

I hope your mind isn't incinerated.


2006-05-02 12:19 pm (UTC) (Link)

My mind is made from titanium or whatever it is they make spaceships out of. It has to be, otherwise I really would be pouring bleach in my ears in an effor to cleanse the stupid, the creepiness, and the utterly bizarre my customers inject into my mind.


2006-05-02 12:48 pm (UTC) (Link)


I mean... if you're "pleasuring" yourself, you can just not answer the phone. I've had messages from my mother "I know what you're doing... call me back when he's asleep" squicks me out a little still, but after 3 years I'm getting used to it. It's worse when I go down south to visit him - his mum always calls when I'm visiting and it's "nap" time *grumbles* at elast he doesn't answer it.


2006-05-02 05:25 pm (UTC) (Link)

your mom is creepy! no offense


2006-05-02 09:43 pm (UTC) (Link)

Like I said, it squicks me out a bit. I'm an only child so I guess it's better that she is wanting to be a friend than being majorly autocratic, but sometimes she goes too far - further than my friends (which says something)


2006-05-02 02:52 pm (UTC) (Link)

How did you know he/she was masturbating?


2006-05-02 08:19 pm (UTC) (Link)

It was a he, and I could tell by the way he was breathing, and the noises he was making. It wasn't fun.


2006-05-03 06:34 pm (UTC) (Link)

that may be the most horrifuckinghilarious icon ever. Is that a *real*, er, fruit?